De-Schooling—and Why Your Child Needs It
Why You Should De-School Before You Home School
— And why rushing into a program may backfire
One of the most common questions I’m asked by families new to home education is:
“How quickly can we start the program?”
My answer?
Take your time.
Delay the start until your child has completed the de-schooling process.
What Is De-Schooling?
De-schooling is the period of unlearning school habits—and it’s absolutely essential. Children who have spent years in classrooms are not blank slates; they’ve internalised a system of passive, externally directed learning. This includes:
Waiting to be told what to do
Suppressing questions
Guessing the “correct” answer to please the teacher
Measuring success by marks, grades or gold stars
Complying with arbitrary timetables
Seeing knowledge as something to be consumed, not created
These habits die hard. Without intentionally addressing them, children often carry them straight into home education—resulting in resistance, apathy, or burnout.
De-schooling is the reset. It’s the detox.
It’s the rediscovery of what learning actually is.
Learning Isn’t a Race
Children who have been in the school system since the age of four or five have often never experienced genuine, self-directed learning. They’ve never had the freedom to explore their interests without a worksheet attached. They’ve never had time to be bored, or curious or creative on their own terms.
When your family steps away from school, please resist the urge to recreate it at home. That structure may feel comforting, but it’s not what your child needs right now. What they need is space—emotional, mental and physical—to begin seeing learning as something joyful, personal and real.
So When Should We Start?
At Coach House, we respect this transition.
There’s no rush.
You can begin your program when your child is ready—and we’ll work with you to figure out when that is. Our discovery meetings with families are thoughtful, friendly and tailored. We ask your child about:
Their current interests and hobbies
What they enjoy doing in their free time
How they feel about reading, writing, maths and more
What frustrates or bores them
How they prefer to learn (e.g. through movement, visuals, hands-on tasks)
Their creative, spiritual and emotional world
Then, we design a customised, syllabus-aligned program that uses their real-life activities to meet curriculum outcomes. In other words:
They don’t need to stop doing what they love.
They just need help connecting it to what counts.
That’s what we do at Coach House.
A Word About “Falling Behind”
Many parents carry residual guilt from the school years. You may remember keeping your child home for a long weekend and worrying:
“They’re missing two days of learning! They’ll fall behind!”
But if you’ve ever had the chance to observe a classroom for three full days, you’ll notice something confronting:
Not much actual learning happens.
Yes, worksheets may be filled in.
Yes, teachers do their best.
But much of what happens is either:
Administrative
Behavioural management
Rote-based repetition
Or shallow engagement with content that may be quickly forgotten and therefore totally missable
And here’s the kicker:
If your child gets 65% on a school test, what does that really mean?
Would you cheer?
Would you say “They passed!”?
Maybe. But imagine your airline pilot got 65% in their final aviation exam.
Would you still board the plane?
Real Learning Is Deep Learning
Home education is not about rushing through worksheets or mimicking school routines. It’s about building depth, mastery and motivation through meaningful engagement.
So if your child is transitioning out of school, the best thing you can do is:
Slow down
Observe
Listen
Allow space
Reconnect with their natural love of learning
Let them come back to life a little.
Then, when they’re ready, we’ll help you build a program that respects who they are and what they love—while still aligning with NSW syllabus outcomes.
Ready to Begin — But Not in a Rush?
We’d love to meet your family.
🔍 Book your discovery interview
🎓 Explore our custom programs
📚 Download free learning resources
🌐 Visit www.coachhousehomeschool.com
